Shitty gifts
I met with a business owner who was having a tough time. Major cashflow challenges over an extended period had led to high degrees of anxiety and depression.
I got it.
Having been there myself, I was able to hold space for the man: listening, feeling, absorbing, while offering a few things from my own journey I had found helpful.
I’ve come to see that the tougher, darker times we experience, can provide comfort and light to others in the midst of their darkness.
We become more effective at keeping our mouths shut.
We don’t offer toxic positive platitudes.
We are more comfortable sitting in silence with others.
We are more likely to feel something of what they feel.
These days, when I'm going through a tough time, one perspective I try to keep is that this experience will be a tremendous help to those I coach and those in my relational circle. I will have a better understanding of what they are going through.
And while we don’t have to go through tough times to understand and be helpful to others, when we do, the shitty times can thus become, shitty gifts.
Part of my coaching work is about helping good leaders traverse the tougher times. If you or one of your leaders could do with some help, feel free to connect.
Ray
Rayism of the week: The darkness we experience can be the gift of light to others.
ray@rayhodge.com.au; www.rayhodge.com.au; +61 403 341 105
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Good morning, young man.
Operative words - listening, feeling, and absorbing. Don't we all need to do that?
Have a great weekend, my friend.
Russ
By the way, I am retiring in December 2027, I will be 80 and a half years old. I believe I have done my share. I am going to volunteer my services to a care facility for DV, the homeless and the needy.
This is incredibly profound, Ray. 'The darkness we experience can be the gift of light to others' — what a powerful perspective on human struggle.
Most people try to hide their scars, but you’ve shown that those scars are exactly what allow us to sit in silence with someone else’s pain. Pain is temporary, but the empathy and wisdom we gain from it last forever.
When you’re in the middle of a cashflow crisis or a mental health battle, it feels like it will never end. But like you said, if we don't quit, that 'shitty time' becomes a gift for someone else. You’re already in pain, you’re already hurt—so get a reward from it. Thank you for holding space for leaders and turning your own journey into a map for others. #Leadership #Empathy #Resilience #PainIsTemporary #ShittyGifts #Rayisms"