Pulling up the blinds
I was coaching a manager a decade or so ago, and the conversation was a fantastic mind-to-mind conversation, but I wanted to connect more personally. At the time, I was learning about the strength of vulnerability so I decided to try something different.
As we spoke, I decided to pull up the blinds marginally to my world, sharing a rough patch I was going through. It wasn’t easy but I did it. In response, he opened the blinds a little on his world. I opened up a bit more; he reciprocated. And over the time we worked together, we connected in a way where there was little fear in being open with each other. The courage of vulnerability was our joint strength. We came to trust each other.
Notable shame researcher, Brené Brown, defines vulnerability as “…uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” She says, “…vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”1
When we express this courage of vulnerability, people often think, Hey, she’s just like me. I get that. Or, He’s a real person after all. We connect more meaningfully through emotional transparency.
And sometimes, even when we are courageous and allow someone into our world, they pull their blinds down even further. And that’s okay—we have to work with what we’ve got.
When we connect more personally, even in a small way, relationships are richer, and we are too.
Ray
I always appreciate hearing back about my writing. If you’ve enjoyed this piece and/or you’d like to talk further, you can reply to this email or just let me know by clicking the heart.
Up in the air again - where I’ll be.
I have a bit of availability on these trips so if you would like to meet up, let me know.
Cairns - August 15 -19. Speaking and leadership event facilitation for Keece Electrical.
Gold Coast - August 20 - 22. Speaking at the Refrigerated Warehouse Transport Association conference.
On the air again - recent podcast interview.
Host, Katy Andrews, says, an incredible journey into the realms of procrastination, mindset, and wellbeing with the time management guru, Ray Hodge. Here’s the link.
+61 403 341 105; ray@rayhodge.com.au; www.rayhodge.com.au
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Brown, Brene. 2017. Braving the Wilderness. London, England: Vermilion.
*Photo by Noelle Otto